new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
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