I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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