i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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