trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
So vagazzling was a success
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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