I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
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