oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Randomize
