i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
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