I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Randomize
