This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Randomize
