Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
