Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
Its about making memories worth repressing
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Randomize
