The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand