Texts From Last Night

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  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now

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  (608): it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now http://tfl.nu/jhc8
  Replies (14) Good night (2773) Bad night (1071)
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  (954): View more from Florida

  everyone is single if you try hard enough

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  (954): everyone is single if you try hard enough http://tfl.nu/81g9
  Replies (42) Good night (5328) Bad night (835)
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  (307): View more from Wyoming

  i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was

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  (307): i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was http://tfl.nu/vjju
  Replies (4) Good night (1021) Bad night (3968)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  I hope my margaritas pass through security.

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  (610): I hope my margaritas pass through security. http://tfl.nu/1pwp
  Replies (7) Good night (4178) Bad night (590)
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  (713): View more from Texas

  well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there

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  (713): well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there http://tfl.nu/feia
  Replies (19) Good night (638) Bad night (5390)
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down

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  (973): not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down http://tfl.nu/e11q
  Replies (6) Good night (4201) Bad night (1175)
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  (518): View more from New York

  I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.

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  (518): I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being. http://tfl.nu/lv2s
  Replies (13) Good night (8152) Bad night (1241)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.

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  (513): This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping. http://tfl.nu/j81d
  Replies (5) Good night (3409) Bad night (833)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.

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  (847): The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling. http://tfl.nu/bvbt
  Replies (6) Good night (2090) Bad night (663)
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  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"

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  (832): You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you" http://tfl.nu/nnn7
  Replies (1) Good night (2437) Bad night (670)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.

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  (732): When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails. http://tfl.nu/3vyn
  Replies (5) Good night (2078) Bad night (588)
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  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls

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  (403): I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls http://tfl.nu/ukym
  Replies (1) Good night (1829) Bad night (496)
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  (308): View more from Nebraska

  I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!

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  (308): I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!! http://tfl.nu/47bh
  Replies (4) Good night (942) Bad night (321)
• Favorite

  (423): View more from Tennessee

  We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.

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  (423): We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off. http://tfl.nu/yele
  Replies (17) Good night (3021) Bad night (368)
• Favorite

  (815): View more from Illinois

  YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT

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  (815): YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT http://tfl.nu/vb37
  Replies (10) Good night (615) Bad night (303)

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