She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
25 Women On How They Let Their Oblivious Partners Know They Want To Bone
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?