The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
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