All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
23 Men Confess What Gifts Would Brighten Their Day
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
25 Of The Most Common Life Mistakes Young People Make
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"