talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.