wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
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