Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
21 Horny People Confess Their Boldest Sexual Advances
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
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I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray