dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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