"it" just moved
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
