I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
accomplished twins. life is a go
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize
