Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
