How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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