You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
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