Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
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i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
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When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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