we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
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