What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
And then he peed in my hair
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