Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
