I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Randomize
