Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
the day after is always just damage control
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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