anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize