You can't motorboat a personality
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Randomize