Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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