If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
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