so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
How external is "for external use only"?
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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