Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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