worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Your penis caused this!
Randomize
