Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Randomize
