help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
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