I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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