would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
I want her autograph on my taint
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
