Christians are straight up FREAKS
I wish I could teleport
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Randomize