there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
She tied me up with her honor cords...
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Randomize