windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
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