So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
Randomize
