I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Randomize
