broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
