Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Randomize
