So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
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