If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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