there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
