we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Randomize
