You can't special order awesome
They should really pass out barf bags in church
you have to choose: penises or morals?
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize
