His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Randomize
