He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
