Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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