One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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