I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I FOUND THE LEGS
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
