I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
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