It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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