i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Randomize
