Its about making memories worth repressing
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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