Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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