I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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